advanced calculation
here's an interesting mathematical equation that someone sent me the other day
pick up a calculator and consecutively enter the numbers of your birthday
add 754
subtract 753
add 1
now divide this number by yesterday's date and add 59 to the total
subtract 59
add the number of fingers on your right hand
subtract the number of toes on your left foot
divide this by any number between one and ten
is the number you came up with your age no dang oh well it didn't work for me either but if it had it would have been pretty cool wouldn't it
四:
revolution
fiveyearsold seems to be an age where a child will rebel against the word no i know my son knows what the word means because when told no he will respond by saying no i have no idea where he gets this trait it must be something he has picked up from school
i never had that problem when i was his age i never went against my parents wishes well except for that one time when i locked myself to the dining room table and my brother had to come home to release me because my mom couldn't figure out how to work the combination lock oh yes there was that time when i was told not to play around the house that was being built down the street but i crawled around in the attic fell through the new sheetrock and my dad had to pay for it and there was the incident when i painted my name with nail polish on the brick fireplace hearth after explicitly being told not to touch the fingernail polish once i was told not to play with matches and burned my thumb moments afterwards then there was the time when i was told not to swim too far out into the ocean but i did anyway my dad almost drowned while saving my life
so you see i was a good kid where does my kid get it from
corsage
my mother inlaw once owned and operated a very successful catering business after retiring she still organizes the occasional event for church and civic groups her service is the kind of thing that is done so well that people don't even realize all that she has done many times her efforts go without thanks
she recently coordinated a major event at her church where close to three hundred people were slated to attend it was a formal event and she mentioned to her husband that most of the women would probably be wearing corsages
not wanting his wife to be left out he asked in his most subtle manor what kind of corsage would most women wear to something like this
oh you know she said the kind that you wear on your wrist
her husband asked i wonder what would be the right color for such an event
she replied i want white
五:
blackboard
a friend of mine used to operate a government laboratory and needed to have a blackboard installed he called the maintenance department located at a different facility to come out and hang the blackboard the maintenance folks said they'd be out in a few days to take on the task
several days later three maintenance workers arrived at the laboratory the looked at the blackboard and then at the wall where it was slated to go they gave my friend an estimate for doing the job and then left the blackboard was still not on the wall
my friend's father had been in charge of the maintenance department several years previous so my friend called him dad he said can you tell me why it takes three government workers to come out to my lab just to give me an estimate for hanging a blackboard
the answer is easy son
what is it
they couldn't get four guys in the front seat of the pickup truck
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