愚人节英文短信


    愚节英文短信
      1Wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day) I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day
      Husband I wish that too so I could change you daily
      2A little boy asked his father Daddy how much does it cost to get married
      The father replied I don 't know son I 'm still paying
      3At midnight father saw that his married son leaving home He asks him what are you doing
      The son replied Dad I am fed up with my life My newly marriage is not going well my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other I have to pay bills for my inlaws and I hate this life I want to go far from here I want to taste every joy of life and I want to have every fun of life
      Father said Wait I am coming with you
      4A woman goes to England to attend a 2week company training session Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip
      The wife answered Thank you honey what would you like me to bring for you
      The husband laughed and said An English girl
      The woman kept quiet and left Two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked So honey how was the trip
      The wife Very good thank you
      The husband And what happened to my present
      The wife Which present
      The husband What I asked for the English girl
      The wife Oh that Well I did what I could now we have to wait a few months to see if it’s a girl
      5A couple goes to an art gallery They find a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves The wife doesn 't like it and moves on but the husband keeps looking The wife asks What are you waiting for The husband replies autumn
      6A man is sitting reading his newspaper when the wife sneaks up behind him and whacks  him on the head with a frying pan What the hell was that for he asks That was for the piece of paper in your trouser pockets with the name Mary Ellen written on it she replies Don 't be silly he says Two weeks ago when I went to the racesMary Ellen was the name of one of the horses I bet on She seems satisfied at this and she apologizes Three days later he 's again sitting in his chair reading when she nails him with an even bigger frying pan knocking him out cold When he comes around he asks again What the hell was that for Your fucking horse just phoned
      7Wife to husband you were so drunk last night that you insulted your boss
      Husband piss on him Wife you did and he fired you
      Husband fuck him
      Wife I did and you can go back to work tomorrow
      8A couple drove several miles down a country road with intense silence Not a word was said to each other An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither wanted to concede his position As they passed a barnyard of mules  and pigs the wife sarcastically asked Relatives of yours Yep the husband replied inlaws
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